Really hard being a boy at fifteen. Not yet a man but light-years from childhood. No money to speak of – the occasional weekend shift at McDonalds barely keeps me in gum. No car, too much homework and worse – no regular girlfriend and that’s what I want to talk to you about. Sure, a few of the girls in my class are cool. Sandra has a good head on her shoulders but that’s the problem, I hear she gives pretty good head too. Jackie’s all innocence – least that’s the image she likes to put across. It’s kind of a problem now though, after they caught her sitting in a teacher’s car last week with his hand in her panties. It didn’t work out that great for Mr. Brayshaw either. They suspended him from duty pending the Police investigation. That leaves Jade. Pretty as all hell, definitely the right credentials….simply the fact you need to take a ticket and wait for your number to be called. Life’s can certainly bitch-slap you at times! Not all doom and gloom though. Just two weeks ago a new family moved into the duplex alongside us. I think the father must work for a limo-service as there’s always a different stretch out the front of their place most nights. They have two kids…a boy about my age and a girl who I discovered a few days ago is nineteen and who goes to college. Her name is Rachel. Rachel – Just mentioning that name is all it takes! The whole of last week, I laid awake nights thinking about her…. to be honest, I did more than think….wondering how I might get up the nerve to talk to her, maybe ask her to hang with me some time. It always came back to the same reality. “Get real kid, she’s a college girl pushing twenty. Like she’s gonna have any interest in a skinny dude next door almost five years her junior.” I figured also she must have a regular boyfriend, not that I had seen anyone rock up to their driveway in an Impreza or a Nissan Skyline the past couple of weeks. Whatever, last Sunday morning I was sitting there on my bed as usual, having my psyche shredded, able to see quite clearly into Rachel’s bedroom just across the way, as she dressed slowly, fully unaware of the fact anyone could see through that sheer curtaining. Something about the way she wriggled into those little panties, sliding them up over her bottom so neatly before reaching down to retrieve her bra from the bed covers, made my mouth dry up – not so, other parts of my body. Coming to the conclusion I had nothing much to lose, I dressed myself, then went downstairs and outside to the small deck where I liked to study. Sure enough, Rachel walked out of their back-door with an armful of washing not half an hour later. “Hi Rachel,” I called out, “Helping your mom again?” “Yeah,” she said, “Everyone’s gone out to my Aunt’s place. I was supposed to be studying for my mid-term exams….but looks like I’ll be cleaning the house up instead.” “Want any help?” I asked somewhat hopefully. For a moment she looked up at me questioningly. I had been expecting her to say “Yeah right!” “Know how to handle a vacuum?” she called out smiling. Well as it happened, vacuuming is my forte. “Sure I said, be right over.” I almost tossed my assignment notes over the patio in my haste to exit the house. “How come you’re home alone?” she asked almost shyly, opening the door to me. I made up some bullshit about their having to go visit a sick member of the family. I figured that sounded better than telling her my dad had knocked back one too many Mojitos at a cousin’s place last night and was sleeping it off till the afternoon. God really wasn’t helping my cause either. Dressed as she was in the shortest of plain blue miniskirts, plus a top that revealed enough let’s say to have any guy dreaming about the main course, Rachel I don’t think was even aware of how she looked. Maybe she figured I was way too young to be rated a ‘threat.’ Even so, watching as she bent over to retrieve a newspaper that had fallen off the lounge-room table had my complete attention. Not the news headlines of course, but rather that achingly hot view of those cute yellow panties I had seen her pulling on just an hour or so earlier. I wondered momentarily if she realized the consequences of her action but at the point she turned to me and said “You can start in this room if you like” indicating with her head the vacuum across the hallway, I could see she was blissfully unaware of anything amiss. “Oh, sure,” I replied glancing downwards and hoping nothing was showing that might give her cause to giggle. For the next thirty minutes or so, I vacuumed the house stupid while Rachel straightened up the place and did stuff in the kitchen. She was still taking plates out of the dishwasher when I sat myself down at the breakfast nook having returned the vacuum to the hall cupboard. Again I was treated to multiple up-skirt previews that none of my friends would believe even if I told them. I had to do something or die trying! “Rachel,” I called to her “Yeah?” she replied, straightening up and wiping down the counter. “You’re gonna hate me for saying this…but did you know I can sometimes see you when you get up in the mornings….like across from my window?” Now that got her full attention. She blushed a little, then regaining some self-control, fixed me with an ice-cool expression – almost a smirk. “Really Michael? she inquired “And what exactly can you see?” That certainly put the ball back in my court. “Oh nothing really,” I lied. Just you getting dressed sometimes.” I had to glance away from her. “You sure that’s all Michael?” She was teasing me now – no doubt about it. “You haven’t seen me undressing for bed or anything like that. “No way,” I replied…wishing now that I had been more vigilant. “Only ever seen you in the mornings Rachel.” She was silent for a moment. “So you have seen me after my shower…putting my bra and panties on maybe.” She added as an afterthought. I was squirming with embarrassment. “Well yeah….once or twice I suppose.” “Look at me Michael,” she said. I glanced up at her obediently. “Did you like what you saw?” she whispered. “I guess,” I replied, “Like what guy wouldn’t to be honest Rachel?” I wondered if a plate was headed my way. “Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked, seemingly changing the subject and coming over to the breakfast nook where she sat down opposite me. Now I was forced to avert my eyes from her very noticeable cleavage. “I’m fifteen in case you’ve forgotten Rachel,” I answered. “My best friend right now is my X-Box.”. She said nothing for several seconds, just sitting there looking at me like I was in need of a hand-out. “You’re really very sweet,” she said, smiling directly at me. “Are you a virgin still?” I had been wondering the same about her but this really wasn’t the time to ask. “Yeah,” I muttered, glancing back down at the floor tiles. “No great opportunity to be anything else,” “Would you like to kiss me?” she asked after a few more moments’ silence. “Are you serious?” I said to her. “You’d let me kiss you?” “Well you did help me clean the house up,” she giggled. “You didn’t have to you know!” Even as I sat there dumbfounded, she came around to my side of the table and sat down beside me. Little Miss Muffet never had it so good. “Really Michael, I’d like you to kiss me.” She sounded so genuine….”If you want to of course,” she added. Something less than experienced in such matters and kinda put on the spot by having a girl invite me to do the kissing, I must have been a little hesitant. Overcoming my insecurity however, I pulled her to me, discovering instantly the huge difference between making-out with a fourteen year old girl in the back row of our local Multiplex and kissing a near twenty-year old who certainly knew what she was doing. Breaking off contact with her, I felt completely light-headed. Words did not come easy. “What do you think?” she was asking, sitting there as cute as can be, hands folded in her lap….pretty much exactly where I wished mine were. “Can we do it once more?” I mumbled, unsure if my heart could handle it. She pulled me forward this time, making sure that the kiss was longer and more passionate. All I really remember is the effect her skin perfume was having on me and the fact I wanted to sleep with her for the rest of my life. “So….what’s the verdict?” she asked, breaking off lip contact. I figured it best not to mention the ‘sleeping with her for the rest of my life’ bit. “Right up there Rachel,” I replied, trying to keep a lid on my emotions. “If only…” I thought better of it and cut myself off. “If only??” she was looking at me like my mother. “if only what Michael?” “Nothing,”I said. “It’s OK.” “No please….finish what you were going to say.” She looked intrigued. “Believe me, it’s nothing you want to hear Rachel,” I should have known that was the worst thing I could possibly have said. “Well try me,” she smiled. “I can always send you back home if I don’t like it,” she giggled once more. It took every bit of courage I didn’t have to get the words out. “I just can’t help wishing we could do more than kiss,” There, I had said it. My life was in free-fall. Rachel looked bemused for a few moments. “Are you meaning what I think you’re meaning Michael? she said softly. “You want to make-out with me? feel me up? stuff like that?” I got up to leave, completely humiliated and wishing I’d kept my mouth shut. I hadn’t even made it to the doorway when she called me back. “Where you going?…come back here and sit down with me, I’m not mad with you…honestly!” I slunk back. “Not mad with me huh?” “Nope,” she replied, “In fact, I think you’re really cute – much more honest than the guys at college. Every girl knows what they want.” “But you’re so much older than me Rachel?” I muttered. “Isn’t that a problem?” She looked me over like I was a stuffed toy hanging up at the County Fair rifle range. “Way I see it Michael, you’re pushing sixteen right? (I nodded blankly) I’m not that much older really and besides – I’m feeling a bit naughty.” Her laughter totally broke the ice somehow. I’m not sure which of us was the more nervous as I allowed my right hand to gently squeeze her left breast. She gave a small sigh and moved in closer to me. I began kneading her right swelling with my other hand. Her eyes betrayed her feelings and I knew what I was doing to her was causing her considerable pleasure. You would have to be pretty dumb not to be able to imagine the condition I was in by this stage. I hoped she hadn’t noticed. More kissing was inevitable and then it all turned ultra-serious when I slipped a hand up her skirt. The heat between her thighs was like nothing I had ever experienced. Just as I reached the front of her panties however, she pulled my hand out gently, shaking her head as she did so. “Sorry Michael, I can’t let you do that,” she whispered. “Please Rachel,” I begged. “I promise it won’t go any further than this though.” I would have agreed to a lifetime’s vacuuming if that’s what it took. Even as she replaced her arm on my shoulder, my hand slid back up between those slim legs. I’m almost positive I felt her squirm slightly as my fingers once again made contact with her tight little briefs. For a while simply maintaining pressure on her vaginal area was enough. I did notice her legs parting slightly, not that she had too much freedom of movement in that tight skirt. Eventually though, the hunting instinct took over and my fingers slipped beneath the waistband of her panties, I was expecting an immediate ejection but surprisingly this didn’t happen. I just don’t have the words to describe what her pussy felt like to me. Sure it was moist…wonderfully soft and as I slipped my middle finger right down between her lips…incredibly hot. The word best describes it all I think is “sexy.” Rachel of course was making sounds now…quite a few in fact. Some were sighs, others little gasps of pleasure I suppose. She was encouraging me to further exploration by virtue of the fact she was kissing me harder and holding me to her as I always imagined a lover might be held. Only we weren’t lovers. Even as my finger began penetrating her as she really needed me to do, I realized that it was little more than a game to her. Nevertheless it was probably my greatest experience to date and when I felt her body stiffen and then begin to shake noticeably, I knew what had happened. In some ways I was proud of myself. Shortly afterwards, she pulled my hand out, smoothed her skirt down and got up from the seat. “That was great,” she giggled. “Did you enjoy it too?” I wasn’t sure how to answer her. Obviously it was a dream come true in some ways but I was left feeling empty somehow. Like her entire attitude was more formal now that she had gotten what she quite obviously had wanted. Don’t get me wrong…she was still friendly, just less flirty I guess is the word. “Well yeah Rachel, that was er, ‘interesting.’ I replied. “Maybe we can do it again sometime?” “Maybe,” she said, looking at me almost quizzically. The conversation soon petered out and after giving her a quick kiss, I trudged back next door. The next hour or so I spent reliving the experiences in my mind. A considerable amount of “relieving” too was called for. So maybe you can all understand my predicament here. I’m sure I have pretty much an open invitation to fondle and finger my cute neighbor whenever the opportunity presents itself. She may even get as far as letting me undress her at some stage which given what I can see from my bedroom window most mornings, is nothing radically new. I have feelings too though and the last thing I need is to fall in love with a girl who is never going to have any interest in me other than the respect she might hold for my middle finger. On the other hand, I can see the relationship progressing – at least on a physical level – to the point she might even let me fuck her. Like I said….it’s so hard being fifteen!