Jaded Part 1- Water's Edge

All I could think about was how hot it was today and just how cold it was yesterday; the heavy winds that had blown my Walmart bag across the parking lot as my friends had giggled at my pursuit had turned to intense rays beating down on my sixteen year old body. I’ll be honest, it was a body most of my friends- even the older ones- envied and it was in part because of my body that the older girls even hung out with me anyways. My innocent face and long blond hair complimented my 34B chest and slender 5”6 frame to the point where most people knew I was younger than all my friends but didn’t bother to say anything about it. I even stole looks from my best friend Paige- the head cheerleader of our high school- when we walked through the mall that day before; she hadn’t really cared though, with her boyfriend Zach she was the happiest girl in the world. Now I know what you’re thinking but Zach isn’t the quarterback or the center or the team captain of anything; he is however the best actor in our drama school’s drama department and the dashing star of more than just my dreams. Sometimes when the night was cold but the covers were too hot, I’d pull them back, let the cold air chill my skin, close my eyes and let those thoughts of Zach warm my body...and my hands. Sooner or later I’d drift off to sleep, satisfied and fulfilled; glad to get my secret lusts out of my system and free of any shame when I’d come face to face with Paige the next day. I mean they were just thoughts, they weren’t anything to feel bad about and they were things I just couldn’t control; it had to be someone for everyone and for me it was Zach. I’d never told Paige but I didn’t think she’d care to be perfectly honest; she had him, I didn’t and I think she’s always known a little. One time I spent the night at her place while a couple of the other girls were over and they started to drink; I didn’t really want to at first but they convinced me to have a couple coolers and since I liked the taste I didn’t see the harm. Finally while I was feeling pretty woozy I asked Paige what Zach was like in bed; she’d looked at me with this devilish, knowing smile and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

“Jay, you have no idea.”

And she was right; she’d meant it nicely- using her special nickname for me, my name’s actually Jade and everyone but Paige seems to think it’s short enough the way it is- but she was right, I had no idea what Zach was like, in fact I had no idea what any man was like. I wasn’t like the rest of my friends, they’d jumped right into teenage sexuality head-first, even the ones my age and a little younger but I’d always wanted to hold off. Not just with men either but by myself; I’d only really “discovered” masterbation a few weeks ago when Paige so elegantly complained me “That fucking bastard came too soon, so I had to get myself off!”. With one innocent question about what she meant I’d not only unleashed a fit of giggles but an eye- and mouth- opening experience . Even after that taste of the sexual wonders that awaited me, I was perfectly content “taking care of myself” and being patient until the right man came along. Which wasn’t to say that I didn’t have plenty of opportunities; my physical appearance left plenty of guys thinking they could take a ride on “easy street” but no matter what they tried to tell me I knew what they were after. It also didn’t hurt that Paige had either slept with or knew someone that had slept with most of them. Zach and Paige had fixed me up on a double date with his friend Cam one time, a real cute musician that Zach had met working on a rock musical outside school but it hadn’t gone so well. Don’t get me wrong, Cam was a dream come true for any other girl and he told me so on a number of occasions. Yeah he was arrogant and cocky and thought I should feel honored to for him to want me but he had every right to be, he was kindof a local hero; everyone knew him and yes, everyone wanted him. Everyone but me. And I told him so; not outright though, I was too hypnotized by his deep blue eyes to do so- as I said...he was a dream- but when we got alone and every sentence out of my mouth involved Zach, well lets just say Cam was smarter than he looked. One observant boy that Cam and to his credit he was nice enough to promise to keep my secret; he was even gentlemen enough to kiss me on the cheek after he walked me home, telling me Zach, or any guy would be lucky to have me. He was so nice in fact that I completely ignored the fact that when I turned around to walk into my house his eyes were completely glued to my ass- I even walked slower for his benefit. In the end Cam turned out to be a nice, sensitive guy, everything I was looking for..but he wasn’t Zach. And besides, I liked being alone.

That’s why when Paige had called the night before and asked what my plans were the next day, I’d turned down her offer to drive me to the pool. I don’t know why she’d even bothered to call and ask, she knew exactly where I was going; the same place I always went on a Sunday morning, no matter what the weather. Some people choose Sundays to go and worship in church and I did too but my church wasn’t lined with crucifixes and pews, it was covered in water and whether rain, sleet or snow I was always there to worship, like the postmen of swimming. I’d been going to the indoor swimming pool in town since I was a little girl taking lessons and since the second I took to water like a fish I knew that it would always be a part of my life. I’d given everything I had to swimming and loved every second of it; the refreshing wave that overcame your body as it was submerged in the water, becoming one with the element of life. It pushed me to succeed, to surpass everything I’d already done and to improve and it had sculpted me into the young woman that I was today. A lot of people had helped me along that path; my parents, my older brother Jeffrey, my teachers, my coaches and perhaps the most influential of all of them was the pool’s Janitor, Mr Fontane. He’d worked there as long as I could remember and when I was younger he started to always bring me a treat from the concession stand in the pools lobby. As I got older the treats still continued- he liked to treat me like his daughter, no matter how old I got- and one day I was honestly shocked when he came to me, wrapped in a towel and still dripping wet, empty handed. I’d expected some sort of apology like

“Sorry hun, was all out of change.”

But instead he reached down, grabbed my hand and slid something into it; something hard and cold. He’d clenched my hand tight with a curious squeeze and whispered in my ear

“Our secret, okay?”

I’d nodded unsure of what was happening and then opened my hand to see something I recognized immediately; the key to the building. I knew it right away without question, it was the exact same key I’d seen him pull from his ring to open up when he’d found me sitting outside waiting week after week, backback next to me as I curled up with a book against the side of the building. Tears almost filled my eyes as he smiled down at me and repeated his request.

“Our secret, right?”

I was speechless as I nodded my head and jumped on him with a great big hug. That was over a year ago and every Sunday since I’d used his gift without fail, thinking of how much he must trust me to give it to me and never betraying that trust. I’ve never told anyone about the key, not even Paige who still thinks I just sit outside and wait, week after week no matter what the weather. It sat in the pocket of my tight jean shorts as I made the regular half an hour walk through town and down the hill to the fairly secluded pool. Years before it was turned into a pool it’d been a warehouse for some industrial companies that had gone through; the town had bought it cheap and turned it into the Pool; there was outdoor pools as well as indoor, the concession stand and a conference room people could rent out for birthday parties and social events. As I rounded down the hill I saw no sign of Mr. Fontane’s truck and knew that-as usual- I’d beaten him there; I quick glance at my watch showed me why as at 5:49 in the morning with the sun not even fully in the sky, I was probably the only person in town awake. It made me feel like I was the only person left on earth and like I said from time to time, I enjoy being alone; this was no exception. I was all smiles as I pulled the key from my pocket, slid it into the lock like I had so many times before and turned it til it clicked. I pulled open the door and stepped through, pulling the key with me as I shut it and was sure to lock it behind me- Mr. Fontane’s number one rule about coming after hours. With that out of my way I dropped the key in my bag and walked through the halls until I reached the double doors to the indoor pools. I pushed through them and came into a world of darkness; swallowed by the abyss I seeked solace, pawing against the walls as I worked my way down to the sanctuary of the light switch. Four heavy snaps later and the darkness is banished for what seems like forever by blinding light that radiates beautifully off the glass-like surface of the pools calm waters. It’s a sight I always treasure, I tried to capture it on camera a number of times one morning but it never looked perfect enough to do it justice, I deleted the pictures and never bothered again, accepting that some things just aren’t meant to be. Full of new glee and more energized than anyone should be at this time in the morning I stepped towards the waters edge on the deep end and shed off my clothing down to my one piece with expert precision. I savored the moment of anticipation before leaping off the edge and diving in, my slim body cutting through the surface like an arrow through the flesh, penetrating the water and forcing my way through it all the way to the other side, gasping for air along the way.

And just like that I’d left the real world and entered my world, my realm where I belonged where I controlled everything. I felt like I could survive inside the water, like I could live my whole life there and be protected, never feel anything every again, just be one with the elements. So I swam, back and forth and back and forth, pausing only to rest, pushing myself, testing myself, preparing myself for life by struggling inside that pool. The only difference was that problems in life were harder to push aside than that water but they couldn’t reach me as long as I stayed in there, as long as I swam and never stopped; it felt like I didn’t even need to breath.

I swam for forever, I swam on from when my lungs burned, my body ached and I could barely feel myself in the water. I would have swam longer but as my head came up from the water I heard a familiar yelling voice and couldn’t help but smile as I immediately stopped and started to tread water.

“What took you so long?”

He shook his head with a smile of his own as I burst forward to the edge and pulled myself out onto the deck, reaching into my bag for a towel. To answer my question he pointed towards the men’s lockerroom hallway where I could hear footsteps echoing back towards the pool. I lowered my head to wipe my hair off with my towel and brought my head up to see a short, younger boy with black hair down to his eyes walking out of the hallway in a pair of white swim trunks. He was well built, a little skinny but definitely not a toothpick and I could tell from the look of curiosity on his face he wasn’t a stranger
to indoor pools; in fact from the way he ran past toward me and threw himself into the water he’d probably gotten his body the same way I had. He tore his way through the water and despite his rudeness I had to admire his form and commitment as he blazed his path across the water, barely pausing at all at the other side before breaking off for the return trip. Mr. Fontane tried to explain the boy’s attitude with an apologetic

“He’s shy.”

But I was going to be perfectly satisfied with an explanation of who the hell this kid was and he quickly followed up with that answer.

“He’s my grandson, Damien from upstate; his parents went to Hawaii for vacation so me and Candice have got him at our house for a week. He’s been bugging me since he got here to take him to the pool, he’s the star of his school’s swim team himself and only at thirteen. Reminds me a lot of you.”

I nodded my head as I watched the boy tear up the pool, defying the water with fierce, almost violent strokes and it brought only one question to her mind.

“That’s what I look like?”

“No, no, you’re much more...elegant. I think he could be faster though.”

His response was that of a proud grandfather and as much as I wanted to prove it wrong, all I did was smile.

“Maybe one day we’ll find out.”

That seemed to be enough for him as he nodded thoughtfully and spoke again gently, as if to make up for his proud comment.

“I turned on the hot water, why don’t you go take a shower, get all that chlorene off the right way? Hm?”

He didn’t need to tell me twice, usually I had to wait to get home to take a shower and by then my hair was fried. I could barely peel off a

“Thanks!”

before I ran down the hallway to the Women’s Lockerrooom, stripping off my bathing suit and letting it drop to the floor as I turned on the rare treat of steaming hot water and stepped in to let it shoot down on my body. The seething water streamed down onto my breasts and immediately started to sting my nipples; I reached up for the body wash and squirted some of the cold gel into my hand, rubbing it up and down my chest trying to sooth my warmed up flesh. While I was rubbing up and down my body, my palm brushed across my right nipple and a bolt of stimulation fired through my body; a soft coo of pleasure escaped my mouth but I tried to ignore it and continue to wash. Rinsing the soap off my chest I reached up for the bottle again and the point of my nail stabbed into the tip of my nipple again; my eyes closed involuntarily and before I knew it I was rubbing my breasts as I soaped them down yet again. I knew what I was doing was meant for my bedroom, meant for the privacy of my home and because of that a rush of excitement went through it, just like when I reached for that cooler at Paige’s, only this time I tried to ignore it. I squirted out more body wash and went to soap my thighs, pausing before and looking down between my legs at my freshly shaven pussy. I hadn’t seen the point to doing it but Paige had insisted and as usual I’d complied; whatever her reasons had been it certainly looked better this way and with nothing to hide it I could practically see my clit quivering with anticipation, begging me to play with it. I thrusted my hands into the stream of water, washing the soap off my hands immediately; accepting that I could shower at home and finish washing up there. I was just about to turn off the water and step out of the shower, resigned to “taking care of myself” at home when I saw something new about the lockerrooms showers I’d been too busy to notice before. Sometime through the weak the showerheads had been changed and the old stiff silver ones had been replaced with sleek, white, plastic, removeable ones. In that moment my mind went immediately to the story of when her and Zach had stayed the night at Niagara Falls for their one year anniversary...

“We came up to the room after dinner down the street and the floor and bed were, covered and I do mean covered in rose petals. If that’s not good enough sitting in the middle of the bed is an open black box with a gorgeous piece of black lingerie in it! I’d ran across the room to it, puling it up to admire it and he came up from behind me, kissing my neck that way he does and sliding his hand down the front of my dress...the way he does and then whispered forcefully in my ear...”Clean yourself up and put that on like a good little girl.” Then he bit down hard on my shoulder and pointed to the washroom, knowing I’d go and do as he said. I was so turned on Jay, I was so wet I could feel it dripping down my thigh; so I tore off my clothes and turned on the water hoping to get the shower over quick as I could. Until I saw it that is. Now I’d heard the stories just like every girl and I don’t normally like...you know “devices”, even if they weren’t strictly for sex but I was so fucking horny I was ready to give anything a try. And Jay, I swear to you, it was the best orgasm of MY LIFE.”
Those words had stayed with her for a while and I’d always wondered what it would be like; I’d wanted to ask my parents to get one but didn’t think I could come up with a better argument than “it’ll get me off”. And now here I was and here it was and the more I stared at it the more Paige’s words reverberated in my mind and the more I thought of Paige’s story the more I thought of what happened next. When she walked out of the bathroom weak in the knees and Zach had been waiting for her, how great she’d said he’d tasted, how tender he’d been with her body, how safe she’d felt in his arms and how he’d whispered in her ear at the one perfect moment just how much he loved her. And before I knew it, my hand was between my legs and my eyes were closed; I teased my clit and ran the very edges of my fingers up and down my slit barely touching any of my begging flesh and then flicking my clit; manipulating myself just the way I like and moaning throughout it. Not caring about stopping myself anymore, reaching up and grabbed the showerhead by it’s neck and tearing it off; bringing it down and pointing it inside me; already letting my lust take me over and not letting my worries silence me. All I cared about was getting off, about having the greatest orgasm of my life; where it was didn’t matter, how guilty I would feel later didn’t matter I just wanted that satisfaction and before I knew it I was screaming for everything I was worth.

“Ooh! Oh god! Oh yes! Yes! YES!”

“Yes what?”

With those two words I was torn away from my ecstacy; I wanted to hope and pray that I’d only been hearing things but I knew that wasn’t true. I opened my eyes and turned around to see thirteen year old Damien standing at the entrance to the shower, still in his swim trunks and wearing a different look on his face; a cocky smirk.

“What are you doing in here?”

I should have probably acted with outrage but I’d been caught in the act and couldn’t summon it yet; all I could manage was to shove the showerhead back into place. That only encouraged him further though.

“Oh no, don’t stop on my account. I was just enjoying the show.”

“Get out of here right now, or I’ll tell your grandfather.” “Oh will you? Don’t make me laugh, you won’t tell anyone shit.”

His voice was colder than I could have possibly imagine and what was worse it had an obvious confidence to it that told me he was assured in everything he was saying. He had every right to be, there was nothing I could do to get out of this but try and throw my weight around and as he’d already proven, I had none.

“What are you doing in here?” “I heard you yelling and was concerned, I thought you needed help.”

“Really?” “Wow, you are stupider than you look aren’t you? Too bad for you I’m not as stupid as you are; I heard you when I got out of the pool and knew exactly what was going on.”

“Y-you heard me?” “Oh, don’t worry, Gramps had to run a few errands. He left us here all alone and wasn’t here to hear a thing. Me on the other hand...”

The grin spread across the boys face as he smirked up at me and there was something in it that scared me, it told me to stay scared as he took a step into the shower and his trunks began to bulge a little as his eyes ran up and down my body.

“What you heard, Damien, was an accident. You don’t need to tell your Grandpa, or anyone else for that matter.”

Maybe there was a chance I could reason with him and get out of this in one piece. He didn’t seem in any mood to make it that easy though and my options seemed to be growing fewer and fewer with each second and each step forward he took.

“You’re right about that, I don’t need to tell anyone, because this is going to be our little secret isn’t it?” He took another step and all of a sudden I was aware of just how naked and exposed I was and this was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to leave, I wanted to go home and wash this experience off me and move on with my life and forget about the entire day.

“Exactly, so if you just get out of my way, I’ll get dressed, leave and we can both move on.” I took a step forward and so did he with a very simple response.

“No.” “What do you mean “No”? I’m leaving, Damien.” I took my last step to come face to face with him and raised my leg to step past him and without warning he slapped me in the face. I fell to the tile floor holding my face where it was already turning red, tears flooding my eyes from the terrifying blow as I looked up into the cold smile of this thirteen year old boy.

“..How are you going to explain this to your grandfather?”

“You fell. Maybe if you followed orders better, you’d have less accidents. Now are you still leaving?” “...No.” The second the answer came out of my mouth and he nodded his approval I burst upward for the exit; he shoved me back down lightning quick and slapped me with another sharp open hand blow, laughing as he did so. He shook his head and I could see from my new level his bulge growing with the punishment he inflicted on me; I sniffed back a sob and he cocked his head to the side in mock compassion.

“How about now?”

I shook my head, and he leaned down, pulling my head back by my hair.

“I asked you a question.”

“N-no”

“Good. Now on your feet.”

He let me go and stepped back waiting for me to comply, when I didn’t he leaned forward menacingly and spat at me.

“I said now.” It wasn’t a warning it was an order and to my surprise I followed it quickly, afraid of further abuse and fully aware this boy wished to be in control. He would hurt me if I resisted and so long as I could last til when his grandfather came back I would be ok.

“Now, start rubbing yourself again, slut.”

I was taken aback by his order and what he’d called me and it must have shown because he stepped forward and grabbed me by the hair again, then he grabbed my other hand and forced it down between my legs, pulling it up and down, roughly forcing my to rub myself. I tried to fight back the moans but found I couldn’t and very soon his hand fell away from mine; I stopped when that happened but saw a very dark look in his eyes as he reacted immediately.

“Did I say stop?” Indeed he hadn’t and I shook my head before I started again, shame flooding me as I played with myself for this little eight grade boy; desperate to escape but his helpless prisoner. I opened my eyes and saw my tormentor’s reason for this display; his swim trunks pulled down and his erect 4” cock in his hand and as he jerks his fist up and down it, his own eyes closed in pleasure. It was the first cock I’d ever seen in my life and it belonged to this horrible little boy who now opened his eyes and somehow his smirk grew bigger because of it and really he had every reason for it to.

“Turn around and face the wall.”

He pumped his cock as he gave the order and I had no idea what to thinka s I cautiously went to turn; obviously it wasn’t fast enough for him as he shoved me into the tile wall and started to slap my ass hard.

SMACK! My body tensed up as pain shot through it; the second came so quick I had no time to prepare.

SMACK! The third was just as fast and my knees begin to weaken as a whimper escaped my mouth and suddenly he was in my ear again.

“You like that?”

I hated it, tears flooded my eyes and I wanted to die as even more shame and disgust came over me. How could this boy do this to me? How could he be so careless, so cruel, so selfish? Why did I deserve this just so he could be turned on and for that matter, who was turned on by things like this? The fourth slap was harder than all the others and I couldn’t hold in the cry this time; he just laughed and forced my legs apart snickering.

“I’ll find out for myself then.”

I felt so exposed, so worthless and then as the ultimate defilement...I felt his finger inside me, touching me in my most private of areas. He didn’t graze my slit like I had, he smashes his finger down in it, he didn’t flick my clit, he pinched it and he didn’t tease anything, he stabbed his index finger as deep inside of me as it could go and I screamed as loud as I could. How could he do that so easily? How could he slam into my cunt after such a violent, degrading sexual assault without so much as a kiss, a brush of intimacy? And then the answer came.

“You’re dripping.” I hoped he meant the water, but by now the air had dried me body better than any towel ever could and I knew exactly what he meant. What I’d been trying to deny and ignore ever since this all began; it was turning me on more than anything before in my life...and this boy knew it. “You love this, don’t you?” It was a cruel question of pleasure, he knew the answer and he was mocking me for it, humiliating me with it, dominating me and letting him know how worthless I am compared to him. He owned me and he let me know it by pounding his finger in my cunt hard with my face pressed against the tile; he pulls his finger completely out and leans in again as my body feels empty, wanting, desperate for more whether I want it or not.

“Beg for it.” “P-please.” “Please what?”

That bastard wanted me to say it, that bastard wanted to hear it for himself and he wanted me to hear myself say it. He knew though that I didn’t just want his finger, he knew I wanted him inside me, more than a finger, more than a taste; I wanted him to fuck me and fuck me hard. I wanted him to rape me against that tile and take away from me what I’d treasured my entire life, for one reason and one reason only- because he could. “P-please...p-please..f- f-fuck... me.”

I’d given in, finally after everything I was ready for him to make me his, to be nothing but a whore, his whore. No matter who he was, no matter how old he was, he owned me now and I was his to finally take.

“Heh, you don’t deserve it. On your knees, open your mouth.” Everything was drained out of me, I didn’t want to be there once more, everything else was gone from me. Any defiance any obedience, I’d offered myself to him and he’d rejected me; I wasn’t even worth the fuck- my virginity didn’t matter to him. I didn’t matter to him, I was something to suck his cock, something to give him pleasure, my pleasure didn’t matter and as long as I pleased him, I would be spared. That was what mattered now; to give him what he wanted and to survive; I choked back more tears and dropped to my knees, opening wide as he grabbed my head and slammed his 4” cock in my mouth, pounding my face with the recklessness of a horny thirteen year old boy.

“Suck it, slut. Yeah, work that tongue.” He pulls his cock out of my mouth and holds my head steady, slamming his cock in and out of my mouth, face-fucking me until he yanks my entire head deep on his cock as far as possible; I start to gag and he spasms on top of me, slamming viciously in orgasm before throwing me to the tile and smiling. I felt used and was used and he grinned down at me like the piece of shit he was, saying only three words before walking off.

“See you tomorrow.” It wasn’t a suggestion or a request, it was an order; he knew he would. And as I lay on the floor of the shower, crying my eyes out, feeling my own cunt juices run down my leg at the thought of everything that just happened to me...I knew he would too.